A damaged journal
This small brown leather-bound book has seen better days. The leather is faded and is adorned with odd stains. Its pages are yellowing and torn in some places, while something corrosive seems to have destroyed the top corner of one section. I, Ishko Mendae, Noble Dragon, have started this diary as a record of my experimentations with poisons. I hope that one day my work will be of use to other ninja. Poisonous plants that may have pote Angel's trumpet - grows as shrub/ may have use as hallucinogen? deadly nightshade - small plant wi purple flowers and berries, may weakness? lotus flowers - found growing in/n water, renowned to cause languor a forgetfulness lilies - some varieties reputed to be dangerous borage, certain moulds/fungi? hemlock - tall with yellow stem and white flowers, found wild in plains around foreign city of Ankh-Morpork Venomous/poisonous animals: spiders and snakes have venom blowfish is dangerous to touch be deadly to eat, but if prep properly, is safe. This must mea the toxic part of it can be extracte I must learn how to do this! some toads and frogs from the strange lands beyond the Wall are said to be quite toxic Possible solvents: water alcohol - would rice wine work? oil acid - different types might wor different plants alkalis - soda ash? Monday 27th June Prime, 1990 I have decided to investigate the of the angel's trumpet flower. long been known to be dangerous, bizarre visions and sensations. I they have much potential as a halluc agent. Wednesday 29th June Prime, 1990 I've had little success with the groun trumpet flower dissolved in acid, but wat shows some promise. Thursday 30th June Prime, 1990 Water was the key; a strange milky grey liquid resulted from this marriage, but the effects were quite disappointing. Attempts to concentrate this mixture proved pointless. I wonder if some other substance is needed to fully realise the potential of this plant. Octeday 4th Grune Prime, 1990 I confess; I am vexed! I have yet to find the key to unlocking the angel's trumpet - I may yet revisit it. Wednesday 12th Ember Prime, 1990 I spent some months as an apprentice of famed chef Yun Chan. Under him, I learnt how to safely extract the poison sac of the deadly blowfish, and how to properly season pork. Saturday 15th Ember Prime, 1990 It seems that drying and grinding the sac was not the best idea I have ever had. Wednesday 28th Ember Prime, 1990 I recently acquired some rare scorpion sacs from the dangerous ghost-infested lands outside the Wall. I was advised to press the sacs, and this process produced a small quantity of pale red liquid. I was told that this would strengthen any poison I added it to, but it had little effect on the angel's trumpet solution and did not help with the extraction of the blowfish poison. I have decided to seek vengeance on the dishonourable trader who sold me the sacs! Saturday 1st Ick Prime, 1990 The cursed merchant esc d me! But not all is lost, as I realised the same method of extracting the essen the scorpion should work for the sac he blowfish, also. I will work on a better mechanism for press g tomorrow. Monda h Ick Prime, 1990 The pr s worked! I was able to extract 4 ounces f pale brown liquid from o sac!! I tested a small amo t of this li id on a a rat. Its body ex ed quite alarmingly, and it appeared to n some discomfort but it did not die. will experiment with ways of strengthening this poison. Sunday 26th Ick Prime, 1990 Success!!! I have made a highly effective fo lowfish poison! The key was to down the pale brown quid by it! This produced ily brown proved quite effic nt at ex the target's body to several times its natural size. This sed the rat to explode quite messily a ver this diary, as a matter of fact! Thursday 1st February Secundus, 1990 I recently went to a cousin's wedding and many firecrackers were set off in celebration. This made me ponder the use of the explosive nitrate mixture in some sort of device - perhaps to spread other poisons in gaseous form? Friday 18th February Secundus, 1990 My brother the scholar! I owe much to this man. He begged me to see his new collection of books and scrolls. Amongst them I found a fable about a far off land where the fruit of the lotus could make strangers forget their native land. I intend to investigate this at some time. Could a plant cause forgetfulness as it is described? And what use is that to a ninja? Octeday 18th June Secundus, 1990 Serendipity is the mother of all great discoveries! I was working on the mixture from the firecrackers when a serving girl brought my afternoon tea into my lab! Such a stupid girl! What right-minded man would eat where he prepares all manner of poisons? I have lectured all my staff on this! I yelled at her, determined to drum in this important lesson, but she startled, spilling the tray she carried all over my workbench. I was furious! Hours of work ruined. The girl could see the anger in my eyes and wisely fled. It was then that I noticed that the firecracker mixture was smoking furiously. I could barely see a thing. I stumbled out of the lab and managed to learn from the girl, when she had finally calmed down, that the tray contained my usual cup of orange pekoe tea. But it also held some new season plums and a bowl of sugar as they were still quite tart. Sugar! Such a sweet answer. Wednesday 7th Grune Secundus, 1990 I have spoken to a ninja friend of mine who excels at pottery. I'm afraid that I've not managed more than an ugly pot. She believes that she can create a hollow ball thin enough to break easily but strong Saturday 18th Grune Secundus, 1990 I swear, as soon as a man sits himself down to work, all manner of chaos erupts! I had just started examining some toad skins that I was able to purchase, when my old gardener comes to me, begging for several hundred rhinu to replace my wife's peonies. Peonies! I remained calm, pointing out that the plants were only new, and why should they need to be replaced? They were all struggling, as though weakened, he said. Now, I know the man is getting on in years, but he happens to be an excellent gardener so they could not be dying due to lack of care. I asked him what caused this, and he told me that it's the geraniums. Somehow, some leaves had got in the water barrel used to collect rain and tainted it. I gave the poor man the money, just to shut him up, but it got me thinking. The geraniums could not be harmful to people as the gardener himself drinks from that barrel. But plants... What use is that to a ninja? It is unlikely we would be hired to poison a crop! Friday 10th August Secundus, 1990 Both blue and white lotus, when ground are soluble in water. These produce a deep blue and a pale creamy liquid, respectively. It is diffi ty to test the effects of 'teas' as t are surprisingly few people willing to v nteer. Perhaps a student ninja, who has misbehaved? Wednesday 24th August Se ndus, 1990 It is surprising what yo g men will do if you dare them! But at l st I have found that the lotus teas need something else before they will become effective poisons. Wednesday 9th Spune Secundus, 1990 I have decided that I must explore further afield. If I am ever to become a master poison maker, I must examine other plants grown in foreign lands. I know it is the position of the Empire, that nothing exists beyond the wall apart from vampire ghost infested lands, but I am not convinced. There have been tales for years about brave, or foolish, men and women daring to escape the Imperial Guard to explore the wider world. Some have come back, some have not. But those that did are said to have told of strange lands not, as we are warned, full of evil ghosts, but people and cities. The very trader that I purchased the useless scorpion sacs from, claimed to have got them from a far off desert land. I will make inquiries, discreet ones, about a voyage on the morrow. Tuesday 16th Spune Secundus, 1990 Well, it is all settled. I leave for what lies beyond the Wall in a week. The price Captain Sing is charging me is exorbitant, but he came highly recommended. My wife is well used to me spending some time away from home on missions, but I fear I will be gone for a very long time, this trip. No doubt she will take up a lover, as she always does, while I am absent. Octeday 30th Spune Secundus, 1990 Well here I am, nearly a week into my ocean voyage. I must admit some trepidation as we journey further m everything I have ever known, and closer o unfamiliar lands. All m er of storms have rocked our vessel, terri winds, hail, raindrops the size of rocks, nd deafening thunder. To pass the time the sailors have been tellin tales of the wonderous creatures that there. Short men h long beards and a dness for gold, all things. Rocky monsters that turn stone when the sun shines upon them, and men and women that turn into dogs! I wonder how much, if any, of this is true. Thursday 3rd Sektober Secundus, 1990 It is fortunate that I brought a selection of poison materials with me on this voyage, I fear that a man could quickly go mad with nought to do but look at the unceasing blueness of the sea. Friday 12th Sektober Secundus, 1990 endless blue ocean light glistening atop waves cold wind, salty spray Octeday 23rd Sektober Secundus, 1990 I had a much needed distraction yesterday! The captain had warned that as we neared foreign trade routes, we may come across pirates who wanted to steal our cargo, it seems that he was correct. A ship pulled alongside us in the dead of night, grabbed the hull with vicious hooks on rope, and we were besieged and out-numbered! I raced from my quarters to find a full battle between our men and the pirates. I quickly joined the fray, dispatching one foreign devil with my katana and another with my wakizashi. One pirate, a monster of a man who stood three heads above me, came at me with a spiked club. He managed to disarm me and I was forced to defend myself with the martial arts. He was much stronger than I, but I was quicker. I soon had him at a disadvantage and kicked him overboard. At this point I saw Captain Sing in peril, so I quickly loaded my blowpipe and fired a bloat-covered dart into his assailant's neck. I feel that this was the turning point in the battle. Once the pirates saw his body expand and then explode from the internal pressure, they seemed to lose the will to fight! They quickly fled to their ship, leaving their dead and dying behind. We did not escape unscathed, I'm afraid. Two sailors were killed and another badly injured. I was also devastated to discover that my poisons kit had been ruined. Fortunately, this diary was safely stowed in my pocket. Octeday 1st Ember Secundus, 1990 Land at last! I have arrived in a place called Ankh-Morpork. It is good to be on solid land once more. The smell of this place! If I could bottle the air itself and condense it into a stronger form, I feel it would make a very effective poison! I realise now that the sailors were not making it up; there are indeed small men with beards and rocky monsters (although I have not seen them turn to stone). I have yet to see a man turn into a dog! Wednesday 4th Ember Secundus, 1990 My first f days here have been fruitful. It seems this city has an organisation similar t ninja, called the Guild of Assassins s able to bribe a servant there to some books on poisons. It seems captain was correct; these Morporki em to value useless gold quite a b able to purchase almost anything for a few small coins! The langu is proving to be a much bigger prob so far I am getting by with much s uage and I am picking up a few words and there. Thursday 13th Ember Secundus, 1990 I have spent some time researching the hemlock plant, which grows wild in the area around Ankh-Morpork. It is a tall herb, with a pale yellow stem, small white flowers and a strange odour. The variety that grows along rivers looks somewhat like another culinary herb they have here, they call parsley. The books cquired suggest that when mixed with sn , a potent poison is created that cau eral feeling of illness and making ormally good constitution more vul o illness and other sorts of poi There d to be many deadly snakes in or aro y, so perhaps another area of t has such reptiles. I have care ected some seeds and roots of t , as I hope to grow it. Tuesday 4th December Secundus, 1990 Today I had a meeting with one of the city's alchemists. These are a strange group of people. It seems they spend much of their time trying to turn lead into gold! Why would anyone want to turn lead, which at least has some uses in metalwork, into gold that is so soft it has little use?? Ignoring this basic insanity, I followed him to his guild house (which seemed to be in the middl of construction) where he showed me all m of substances. Some I knew such a and alkalis, and the nitrate and su ixture used in firecrackers. Other s s and powders were a complete myster ncluding something called 'batsu d a very unpleasant smell, and som hat he was quite excited about: ye tion. This acidic solutio properties, including having so f energy and effect on magical obj en used in certain preparation Tuesday 13th Ick Secundus, 1990 I have spent the last few weeks in the city of Djelibeybi and its surrounding desert regions. It is a most inhospitable place, with little rain and tiring, dry hot days. The nights in the desert are cold, too, bitterly cold. But I found some varieties of deadly snakes and scorpions, and I have collected poison sacs from them to study in greater detail once I am home. It seems I was a bit hasty when I dismissed the scorpion sacs I purchased as useless. Friday 16th Ick Secundus, 1990 There seems to be little else of use here in terms of poison making, although when I made discreet inquiries on the topic, I was given a pipe to smoke. Since I had seen those around me puff away without apparent harm, I took a few breaths. An odd feeling came over me, and everything seemed remarkably humorous. It didn't seem to do me any harm, but I was left awfully hungry. I don't believe this hasheesh, as they called it, would be much use to me. Friday 24th Ick Secundus, 1990 I have returned to Ankh-Morpork and now have a good collection of toad skins and scorpion, snake and spider sacs. The spiders! I will have nightmares about those for years to come! I journeyed into a place the locals called Gloomy Forest. An apt name! It was infested with spiders as wide as a woman is tall. They came at me, attacking en masse. They were quick, and one bit me before I knew what was happening. I thought I was dead, the venom coursing through me making me violently sick. But I tried to remember my training and concentrate on the fight at hand. I managed to kill the three that attacked me, and from their corpses I cut out the source of their poison. Fortunately, I recovered and have no long-term ill effects. I have also collected a variety of plants that show promise. I've gathered both dried specimens and live samples and seeds. I hope to introduce the most promising ones to my home soils... Ah, home! How I miss it. It would be nice to walk down a street without fear of being mugged (that fear is much reduced when you are a ninja, I admit). And I long to see an actual reflection in a a river rather than a corpse lying atop it. Friday 1st Offle Prime, 1991 I have just witnessed an interesting tradition in this part of the Disc. It was called Hogswatch and it is celebrated on the first day of Offle Prime. It seems to involve much feasting and the exchange of gifts. My alchemist friend, Dave Mudgins, invited me to his family's Hogswatch dinner. We had an acceptable meal of roasted pork with a selection of root vegetables and greens, but it did not compare to Agatean cuisine. After the feast came the exchange of gifts. I was pleased to find that Dave gave me a collection of jars filled with some of the powders and solutions I found to be of interest. I was uncertain what would be a suitable gift for this celebration, so I gave him, and everyone there, a bag full of gold. They seem most pleased with this. However, they soon started arguing amongst themselves, but Dave assured me that this happened every year, so I assume it is some part of this strange Hogswatch tradition. Wednesday 7th Offle Prime, 1991 Home! I am going home after months spent in this strange foreign land. I do not regret this time, though. I have learnt much to further my craft, and I have gathered plants and materials unavailable at home. With these, I hope to improve and strengthen some of the poisons I have made a start on. At last I feel I have all the components needed to realise the potential of the lotus flower. I will start brewing this poison as soon as I get home, and may even test it on my wife's beau. This diary has served me well, but seems to have suffered as a result of my experiments. I must write out my research and findings properly, one day. Category:Poisons